I’ve Never Liked The Colour Pink
by Comic-cake
Summary: “Foolish and reckless. Yeah, that sounds like me. The Rogue”. A short Rogan.
1. Chapter 1

My blood freezes as the solid line emerges into view. A bright neon pink strip seeming to slap me sharply with its abrupt appearance.

It's undeniable, confirming all my fears.

_No. Not me. Not the Rogue._

Yes me. It's every bit as real as the four solid walls surrounding me that have started to close in. The air thickens, making my breathing laboured. The bed on which I perch seems to sink heavily, swallowing me.

Pregnant.

Holy fuck.

_Please tell me I've got it wrong._

I shut my eyes tightly as if that will make the taunting line disappear, but I can almost hear it screeching at me. The room is spinning and as my eyes open they're drawn back to that damned luminous strip like a magnet. That stick of sickly pink, which causes thick panic to flood through my veins. I swallow heavily against a lurch of vomit that threatens.

And I've never liked the colour pink. Especially that shade of pink; a baby pink. How fitting.

I can't comprehend this. It isn't happening. I'm such a damn fool. Three months I've had control of my skin and what's the first thing I do? Get myself pregnant.

Foolish and reckless.

Yeah, that sounds like me.

The Rogue.

As I stare in disbelief, the pink line seems to grow brighter, throbbing, becoming three-dimensional.

_I'm losing my mind._

A light knock on the door snaps me back to some sort of reality.

I ignore it, hoping it'll go away. But wait…what if it's Jubes or Oro? I could do with a friend right now…

"Rogue?" I hear the voice muffled through the heavy wooden door. It's Jean.

"Can I come in?"

_Fuck off!_

And I hope she hears that thought through that telepathic head of hers.

I see the door handle slowly turning and I silently curse myself for not locking it, swiftly throwing the pregnancy test under my pillow as Jean's head appears round the door, her silky red hair falling loosely around her bright smiling face, "Are you okay honey?"

I don't answer, too numb to find any words. All I'm aware of is that glow of pink that seems to burn through the plumpness of the pillow.

She strides across the room, sitting on the bed next to me. "You look a little…pale."

_Pregnant! Pregnant! Pregnant!_

My mind screams it over and over in sheer desperation to somehow release me from this nightmare. Will she pick it up telepathically? Yet I already know she won't. Jean and the Professor have always upheld that they never read anyone's mind without permission.

"Why weren't you in class today?" she asks softly.

_Because I'm pregnant! Do you hear me? Pregnant!_

_Preg! _

_Nant! _

"Rogue?" her face tilts sideways with a look of puzzlement, trying to work out my saucer-like eyes and my complete lack of any outward communication.

I need someone to talk to. Jean wouldn't be my first choice under normal circumstances, but she happens to be here so she'll have to do. I reach for the test under my pillow and hold it out for her to see. It trembles in my fingers.

I feel sick. And that's not pregnancy sick. It's pure terror sick.

Jean tightens next to me, her jaw dropping open in shock,"Oh Rogue…" she starts quietly, her arm wrapping around my shoulder in comfort. I sit stiffly; so numb I'm unable to respond to her embrace. I tuck the test back under my pillow, as if hiding it away will make this situation disappear.

She takes a deep breath and shifts uncomfortably. It's not helping the mood.

"Is it Logan's?" she asks carefully.

_What? How the hell did she know that? _

I turn sharply to stare at her, the first eye contact we've made since she invited herself in here, and my expression must relay that question loud and clear as she quickly explains, "We've suspected about the two of you for some time."

Yes it Logan's. It could only ever be Logan's. But answering her, even with a nod, would make this one step closer to being real. So I ignore the question, in the same way I want to ignore this whole fucked-up 'bright pink line' situation.

Jean gently strokes my arm in an attempt to sooth me.

It's not working.

"Does he know?" she asks, not dropping this line of enquiry.

I shake my head, the slightest of movements, and silence falls again, but inside my mind is screaming with panic.

_Holy shit, I'm having Logan's child._

The room starts to spin as the enormity of the situation hits me all over again and my hand reaches for Jean's involuntarily, as if in an attempt to steady myself.

Goddamnit, I'm supposed to be an X-man, I'm supposed to be smart. I curse myself for not being more careful. I reflect back over the many nights I've spent in his bed. Sometimes we did take precaution. But on occasion, we didn't.

What were we thinking?

But of course, that's exactly the issue, we weren't thinking. We were too caught up in the moment. It was damn passionate and who stops to think about 'careful' when you're wrapped up in the Wolverine?

I can't imagine how Logan will react to this. We've rarely discussed anything further in the future than the night ahead. Barely ever talked about long-term plans. Definitely never discussed children. Hell, we haven't even told anyone what we get up to during the long dark nights at the mansion. It was just simpler without people interfering and judging.

Yet, according to Jean, it seems they knew all along…

Will he be angry? Shocked? Thrilled? Will he want to keep it? Would he be outraged if I did anything _other_ than keep it?

My mind reflects back to a rare moment of tenderness from Logan, immediately after he first took me almost three months ago. He was still inside me; we were trying to catch our breath, both gleaming with that 'after-sex' glow. He whispered, _"You are all I ever need."_

And so it began. We were happy, content_. "You are all I ever need…"_

So I wonder now how he'd feel about the fact that in an instant, I'm no longer solitary? There's someone else to introduce to our private, cosy little world. Would he still want me? Would he want _us?_

_Did I just say 'us'…?_

_Fuck…_

Another knock at the door interrupts my thoughts and Jean squeezes me in a quick hug, whispering, "You want me to get rid of whoever that is?"

I hesitate, but realise that it could be Jubes. I need her. "The door's open!" I shout shakily, all ready to burst into tears at the sight of my best friend.

It swings open heavily and the doorway is filled with him, towering darkly, beer in hand.

Logan.

My breath catches at the back of my throat at the sight of him and my heart rate increases to what I can only describe as a dangerous level. Shit, he'll be able to sense that. Damn it, I need to breathe, maintain control.

Jean rises up and turns to give me a knowing look. "I'll leave you two alone," she says carefully, before striding out, closing the door behind her as Logan crosses the room, taking Jean's place on the bed.

I can barely look at him.

"You okay kid?"

_Fuck, he knows, he knows, he knows…_

"I'm not a kid," I just about manage in response.

He raises an eyebrow at my unusually sharp tone, but a slight smile hitches at the corners of his mouth and I realise with relief that he doesn't know.

"What was that all about?" he asks, nodding towards the door to indicate Jean.

"Girl stuff," I reply curtly.

"Hmmmm, it's like that is it? You're not in the mood for talking? Suits me."

And with that he picks up the TV remote, switching it onto some hockey game, getting himself comfortable on the bed, his back up against the headboard, his jean-clad legs stretching out in front of him. I stare at him as he watches the game obliviously, his rugged profile, the wild crazy hair…

"You smell different," he comments casually, his hazel eyes still on the game.

My blood freezes for the second time tonight.

_What the hell…?_

"I noticed it a few weeks ago," he continues, still blissfully unaware of the effect of his words. "But it's growing stronger."

He turns to see my wide-eyed stare and he mistakes the meaning of my look, quickly grasping my hand, squeezing it and saying with a smile, "Don't look so worried darlin'. It's a nice smell."

He tilts his head as he continues to gaze at me, patting the bed beside him, indicating for me to sit by him.

I don't move.

"Logan?"

"Yeah?" he answers absently, his eyes reverting back to the game.

"Do you ever want…" I pause, unable to complete the sentence.

"Want what darlin'?"

I take a deep breathe...

"…Kids?"

I barely manage to say that word, almost having to thrust it over my lips and out into the air between us. And okay, I admit it's an unfair question, given he doesn't know of my 'delicate situation'. I'm not naive enough to think that his response may be completely different if he knew. But I just have to ask…

He stops mid-gulp of his beer, removing the bottle from his lips and swallowing hard as he turns his full attention to me.

"What?"

For a moment, I can't read his expression. Then a split second passes before a smile breaks out again, "Don't tell me Red has been getting all broody, discussing babies and crap like that? I should have known."

"Yeah," I respond hesitantly.

"Don't let her broodiness rub off on you," he says with a smile, his fingers reaching towards me to flick my blond streaks. "You're way too young."

_Damn._

He turns back to the game; satisfied that's put a close to that particular topic.

"But what about in the future?" I press, just needing to hear some hint, however minor, that he may actually be open to this 'neon pink strip' situation.

He turns to me again, his hazel eyes narrowing. "Ah, I get it. It's 'that' talk is it? The '_am I in it for the long-haul' _chat?"

"Are you?" I cut in hastily, cursing myself for sounding so desperate.

He doesn't answer, instead reaching for a cigar from his top left-hand jacket pocket. He chomps down on it and as he goes to light it I yell, "Don't!"

_Jesus, what's wrong with me? No smoking around the baby? Am I serious?! _

He stops just before flicking his thumb down on the spark of the lighter, his puzzled eyes on mine.

"I…I just think we should respect Xavier's no-smoking rule," I offer as a lame explanation.

_Whatever. It's never bothered you before. Why don't you just spell it out for him?_

He slowly puts the unlit cigar down, eyeing me suspiciously. And that's when I see it. The sense of realisation settling over him as he mutters under his breathe again, "You smell different…"

_He knows…_

"Marie?"

He says my name carefully, slowly, as we stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, before he starts again, "Are you…?"

"No!" I shout, cutting him off.

Jesus holy Christ. I knew exactly what he was about to say and I couldn't even let him speak the words. I jump up for no other reason than to pace up and down as Logan stands slowly, somewhat unsteadily, his face ashen, his eyes hard on mine.

I need to get out of here; the air is so dense I can't breathe.

I fling the door open but I'm not quick enough as I feel Logan catch me by my elbow, his huge frame looming over me.

"Marie?"

He says my name again, but that's all he says. Everything else is in his expression. His burrowed brow, his narrowed eyes, and something I've never seen in Logan before…a glint of unmistakable panic.

I make a move towards the door again but he steps around me, blocking my exit, staring so hard that I feel he's burrowing inside my mind. I want to cry. Break down and sob. And yet I'm unable to. I'm numb, still trying to come to terms with this. I just stare back at him silently.

Without intention, my eyes somehow confirm his suspicion. His whispered curse tells me he sees it.

"I'm keeping this baby," the words fall out of my mouth without thought, surprising even myself.

_Am I? Did I really just say that? Fuck!_

I push past him easily; he's too shocked to stop me. He doesn't even turn as I dart away down the corridor. I don't know where I'm heading; I just know I need some space, some air, away from Logan…


	2. Chapter 2

Nothing scares the Wolverine. I thrive in the face of the unknown, never daunted. I'm fearless!

At least that's what I used to think.

Until today.

Me…a dad? A responsible levelheaded father? _The Wolverine _goddamn it, with a gurgling wide-eyed baby, relying on me for their every need?

_I have never been so fucking scared in my whole life. _

I pace up and down in Rogue's room, impatient for her return. I could follow her trail, or if she's gone too far, I could persuade Chuck to look her up. But I sensed her need to be alone, to have some space whilst she works this out in her head. I knew she was in panic mode.

_Hell, so was I…_

But she's been gone three hours and patience is not my strong point. I have to see her, we need to talk about this.

I thunder downstairs, bursting into the lounge, flinging open the door with a heavy thud. Throngs of students chatter softly as random colours flash across the room from the glow of the TV. I know my eyes are blazing, darting around wildly, and I'm thrown a few odd glances as I interrupt what was, until I arrived, a tranquil atmosphere. I ignore them, sniffing the air to try and catch her scent.

She's not here. But Jubilee is…

I stride over to her, cutting into her giggly conversation with Kitty.

"Where's Rogue?" I demand, towering over them.

"Hey," shouts Kitty, "Have you never been taught any manners Wolvie? We're talking here…"

"Not now," I cut in sharply, my eyes bolting from her to Jubilee. "Where the hell is she?"

They both shrug up at me with wide innocent eye, "We thought she was with you," offers Jubilee.

I mutter a curse under my breath before turning away, hastening out the room as my ears pick up Kitty's comments, "Jeez, what's up with him? He's even more agitated than normal…"

_You're damn right I am._

I enter the corridor, sniffing one way and then the other, still not picking up her scent. It's just as I suspected, she's left the school, took off somewhere.

Heading to the kitchen, I reach for the light switch, bathing the cold clinical room in bright white. Opening the fridge I'm grateful to see my beers lined up and untouched.

_I could do with a drink…_

I sense Jean before she even enters the room and I turn briefly to catch her eye as she walks in. She's staring furiously at me. Whatever she wants, I'm not in the mood.

Heavy silence falls between us, broken only by the 'crack' as I open a much-needed fizzing beer.

"Rogue told me," she announces.

At least that explains the blazing death glare.

I quickly gulp down half the bottle in one go, swallowing hard as her eyes seethe into the back of my head.

"What you've done Logan," she starts, "Is damn irresponsible."

"Save the lecture," I throw over my shoulder.

She takes no notice.

"Of the two of you, _you_ should have ensured precautions were taken."

I ignore her, which only serves to rile her even more. Good.

"In all honesty Logan, you and Rogue should never have _happened_ in the first place."

_And she's just got my hackles up with that comment…_

"Why not?" I growl, finally turning to face her. I don't want this conversation but she's pressing all my buttons…

"She's only nineteen," is Jean's immediate response.

"She's an adult!" I shout back.

"She's too young for you!" Jean's voice rises to match mine.

"I don't give a damn what you think Red! Stay out of this!"

"Have you lost your mind Logan? How could you think that a relationship with Rogue was acceptable?"

I glare at her, my body tense with rage. It's taking everything I have not to release the claws…

"She adores you Logan," Jean is yelling now, her words screaming in my ears, "You'll only ever break her heart. Why are you doing this?"

"Because I fucking love her!" I roar, my words blasting out, thick with anger and hate, in complete contrast to the actual words I've spoken. And fuck me if the Wolverine isn't using the 'L' word.

And I don't do the 'L' word.

Except, it seems, when it comes to Rogue…

I take a deep breath, turning away from Jean and running a tired hand through my hair.

Damn it! I didn't want my feelings out in the open. I haven't even shared those words with Rogue. But at least it does the trick. Jean has finally and thankfully shut up. 'Stunned' I believe is the best way to describe her right now.

I gulp down the rest of my beer, grateful for the cool calming effect it has, before striding to the window, staring out into the deep blackness and whispering under my breathe, "Where are you Marie?"

"I'm sure she just needs some space Logan. Time to think. You both do."

_Is that redhead still here? _

"Logan," she continues carefully, quietly, taking a deep breathe, "When Rogue is ready, let her know that I'm here for her. I can talk through her options and get this fixed."

_Options? Fixed? What the fuck…?_

I spin around to glare at her angrily, unable to dampen another flare of anger as I stride back towards her menacingly.

"Goddamn you Jean, this is my kid we're talking about," I growl. "Mine and Rogue's. They'll be no _fixing_!"

Jean's eyes widen and she takes a step back, either in surprise, or maybe to escape my looming aggression.

"Logan, you can't possibly think that keeping this baby is a good idea?"

My nostrils flare and my hairs seem to stand up on end. I'm trying hard to press back my anger, but I'm struggling…

"Why?" I say, my voice threateningly quiet, my words tinged with dark anger, "Because it doesn't conform to your regulations? Because it doesn't sit comfortably in this damn institute?"

_The Wolverine and the Rogue; we were never gonna' stick to the rules._

I take another step towards her, I'm half a breath away now and I know I'm intimidating her, but I can't stop myself.

She looks up at me, holding my hard stare.

"You," I point a finger at her aggressively, "And the rest of the geeks in this damn place had better get used to it. Wolverine and Rogue, plus one. This _is_ happening."

I sense Scott approaching.

_Damn it, I'm struggling with my patience as it is…_

"Hey!" he shouts in reaction to my stance towards Jean as he enters the kitchen, "Back off Logan!"

I throw a dark look from him to Jean before stepping away, taking deep breathes to try and calm down.

"What's going on?" he demands.

I'm through with this. I've heard enough and I'm not gonna' hang around to hear One-eye's damning opinions too. I push past Scott and thunder up the stairs.

I have no doubt that all the geeks in this place will have the same opinion as Jean. The two of us getting the hell away from this place suddenly seems like a good plan.

But right now, my only concern is Rogue. I know she'll be panicking, thinking the worst, thinking I don't want this. Hell, I can't pretend it was part of my plans, but it's happened, it's here and there's no going back.

I meant it when I said I'd take care of her. And I will.

Both of them.

**********************************************************

Hours of wandering aimlessly around these unrecognizable deserted streets seems to have calmed me down. Sort of. Well, at least I can breathe somewhat normally now.

The dark evening has folded in rapidly and it's bitingly cold. Why didn't I grab a coat as I rushed out? More importantly, why didn't I pick up my mobile? I could have called Jubes…

The wind nips through my thin t-shirt and I wrap my arms around myself in an attempt to retain some heat.

I can't risk going back to the institute right now. God only knows what Logan is thinking and I can't face him. Hell, he's probably already numbing the shock with copious amounts of alcohol at the nearest grotty bar. Or maybe he's taken off altogether? It wouldn't surprise me, having seen the panic in his eyes.

I turn down another darkened street. No lights and no noise. Suits me perfectly.

So…I'm going to be a mum.

Me… the Rogue… a mummy. At nineteen. Holy fuck, I've never been so terrified. And to add to my fears, I already know this news won't go down well at the school.

And yet I still haven't cried. I just can't seem to snap out of the numbness and into the emotions.

_Maybe that's for the best._

And will I have to do this alone? Can I really imagine the Wolverine looking after a baby? Logan; the family man?

Not a chance.

Then again, he does have that overwhelming protective streak; it's a perfect 'daddy' quality. And he's certainly searching for something…some sense of belonging…maybe our child will bring him that?

Hell, who am I kidding? I'm such a damn fool. _Domesticated_ is not a word anyone would associate with Logan. He's wild and feral, never able to settle in one place for long.

I rub my arms to generate some warmth as I continue walking aimlessly.

Maybe I should leave for good? Save him from having to deal with this. Save _me_ from the hurt and embarrassment.

And there I go again…reckless Rogue…how the hell could I go on the run with a baby on the way? But I can't see any other way. If Logan doesn't want this, if my peers and colleagues won't accept this, what option do I have?

And with that thought, they finally come.

The tears.

The unstoppable stream of emotion. And I lose myself in it, almost gratefully accepting it, falling to my knees on the damp cold street, my hands covering my face as I sob uncontrollably in a crumpled heap.

I'm alone, lost, scared and pregnant.

As I said before; foolish and reckless.

Yeah, that sounds like me.

The Rogue.


	3. Chapter 3

It's taken hours to find my way back through the maze of dark streets and I shiver against the biting night air as I finally arrive at the entrance of the school. The release of emotion on that cold damp street seems to have hardened me, allowing the reality of the situation to sink in, helping me face this. And face Logan. That's if he's still around…

I reach for the handle and then hesitate, taking a deep breath. Whatever happens, I silently promise myself they'll be no more tears. I need to toughen up. I can't deny my fears for the future, but I remind myself that this baby is the result of giving myself completely to the man I love. My one certainty is that I will never have any regrets.

One more deep breath and I check my body language, making it strong, holding my head up high.

Let's do this…

I push against the heavy wooden door and the creak of the old hinges screech out into the silence. Pressing the door shut behind me I creep up the stairs. It's surreal to see the school devoid of the usual buzz of activity. There's not a breath of life here, as if time stands still at this unearthly hour.

Reaching the landing I can see the door to my room gaping open, filled with empty darkness.

I don't stop. Instead and without thought, I continue further along the deserted corridor towards Logan's room. Something is driving me on automatic; an overpowering need for him.

His door is ajar and a thin strip of light slithers out into the hallway.

Deep breathes…

I gingerly push the door open and as the room comes into view my heart sinks heavily at the utter emptiness before me. There's no sign of the usual crumpled shirts on the floor where he's thoughtlessly discarded them. Gone are the various pairs of jeans, normally slung over the chair, the packet of cigars on the small bedside table absent. Logan doesn't own much, but what he does have always remains wherever it falls, exposed and unashamed.

Yet there's nothing here, the room only screams of his obvious absence.

He's gone.

_Holy fuck. Now I am truly alone_.

I curse my own ridiculous dream world, the one where Logan would be here waiting for me, ready to wrap me in his strong arms and whisper reassuring words in my ear.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; I'm a damn fool. The tears threaten but I refuse them.

No. More. Tears.

So now what? Jubilee…

I pad softly back along the corridor. She'll be asleep but I know she won't mind me waking her. My heart aches and I've never needed my best friend more than I do right now.

"Rogue?"

_Who…?_

I spin round to see Jean, a sad smile appearing on her lips as I turn to face her. Is that pity I see in her eyes?

"You okay honey?"

_No._

"Yes," I answer.

"I know it's late but do you have a moment?"

I want to go to Jubes. Jean sees my hesitation.

"We need to talk to you," she adds, an authoritative note in her voice, leaving me little choice in the matter.

"We?"

"Me and Xavier. We've been waiting up for you."

I'm too tired to argue, too drained to refuse, so I shrug in agreement and reluctantly follow her along the corridor and down the stairs to Xavier's office; Jean's clicking heels ringing in my ears. I could do without a lecture right now. The deed is done and I don't need anyone telling me how foolish I am. How reckless we were.

_Those words again…foolish…reckless…always associated with me._

As I enter Xavier's office, my tired eyes sting with the bright lights bouncing off the perfectly polished surfaces. Xavier greets me with his kind grey eyes; smiling softly and indicating for me to take a seat as he wheels himself round from behind his over-sized desk.

Jean perches on the seat next to me before starting, "I've informed Xavier about your…situation."

_Situation? Can't she even bring herself to say the word?_

"Are you referring to the fact that I'm pregnant?" I say boldly, purposefully. What the hell, let's get it all out there…

She blinks at me, her eyes somewhat hard, unsettling me.

"Rogue," Xavier starts softly as I turn away from Jean and towards him, finding more comfort in his eyes, "I can only imagine the turmoil you're feeling right now and I want you to know we're here for you."

I try to respond with a smile but it's a struggle.

"I've spoken to Hank," Jean informs me, taking my hand in hers and giving it a squeeze, "He's expecting you first thing in the morning."

_Hank? I suppose it makes sense to see the Doc, get some advice…_

"Hank will guide you through the process of getting this sorted," she continues determinedly, squeezing my hand again in an attempt to reassure me.

_Get this sorted? Did I hear her correctly?_

I snatch my hand from her grip sharply, my eyes hardening, flashing from her to Xavier.

"You want me to get rid of this baby?" I whisper, almost inaudibly.

Jean and Xavier exchange an uncomfortable glance as I stare furiously at each of them in turn.

"You think that's the right decision?" I demand, "Damn you…"

"Rogue," interrupts Xavier, his voice soothing, "It's not about right or wrong. It's about…" he stops, unable to find the words.

"The sensible choice," Jean finishes for him.

I stand up with such aggression that my chair topples back, hitting the marble floor with a loud crack, echoing angrily around the room.

"Fuck you both!" I shout, spinning towards the door.

Jean stands up, swiftly grabbing my arm to pull me back round to face her. I shake her off roughly, glaring at her, hoping that the hate I feel right now is translating through my eyes. And yet she carries on regardless, "No one need ever know about it Rogue…"

"Are you listening to me?" I yell, "I'm keeping this baby! With or without your approval. With or without Logan!"

Just as those words leave my lips, I hear the footsteps approach. Isn't it amazing that you can identify someone just from their footsteps? From the pace of them, the heaviness? And I can tell by Jean's eyes that she recognizes them too. The three seconds it takes for those steps to reach us stretches on endlessly and the door seems to swing open in slow motion. His darkness fills the whole frame and my heart races as our eyes meet...

Logan.

"Where the hell have you been?" he shouts angrily to me. "I've been out searching for you for hours!"

I don't answer; I only stare at him, stunned.

_You've been out searching for me? I thought you'd gone? And you're shouting at me goddamn it!_

"And by the way," he blazes on, "With or without me? I can tell you right now, you're doing this _with_ me."

His eyes bolt to Jean and Xavier, as if only just noticing them.

"What's going on in here? Jean?" his eyes dart to her, "This better not be what I think it is…"

"Logan," Xavier's words have an angry clip, unusual for him, "Don't you dare storm in here in this manner! You have a lot to answer for."

I see Logan's eyes narrowing with anger as Xavier continues, "How could you let this happen Logan? How have we ended up with this _pregnancy_ situation?"

"You want me to draw you a diagram Chuck?" Logan throws back sarcastically.

This is all happening around me and I'm still too stunned to speak as his words ring through my mind. He's doing this _with_ me…?

"Logan," Jean starts up again despite the warning look in his eyes, "I've arranged for Rogue to see Hank in the morning, just to talk things through. It's only fair that she's aware of all the options open to her."

I can almost see his hackles rising; his fists balling tightly until his knuckles whiten. There's no mistaking the dark anger that flares in his eyes a split second before the claws of this right hand extract venomously, causing each of us to simultaneously flinch back.

He points the claws threateningly at Jean, "I've told you to stay the fuck out of this!"

"Calm down Logan!" shouts Xavier as Jean's eyes widen with fear. We all know the Wolverine can struggle to control his temper. In this frame of mind, he can be unpredictable…and his anger is pounding off him; I can almost feel the heat of it.

"Logan," I step towards him, "Look at me."

_I just need to tap into him…calm him down…_

I put a gentle hand on his raised clawed arm and I feel the tension beating through him.

"Logan," I whisper softly, "Please."

He finally rips his enraged eyes from Jean and as he turns to me he visibly softens, the anger dampening rapidly as his arm falls to his side, the claws retracting. I hear the sigh of relief from Jean, although the air remains tense as he jars his neck to one side and takes a deep breath in a further effort to dim his anger.

"We need to keep calm and discuss this rationally…" starts Xavier, but Logan cuts him off abruptly.

"Let's get out of here," he announces, grasping my hand and leading me out with no further words. They don't protest and we remain in silence as we head along the corridor and back up the stairs.

As we reach my room I stare after him as his eyes search wildly. He spots my grey worn duffel bag in the corner and strides over to grab it.

"I thought you'd gone," my words fall out, thin and wispy.

"Not without you darling,'" There is no hesitation in his matter-of-fact answer as he throws my bag on the bed.

"But your room is bare; all your things are gone…"

"I'm already packed; my things are in the car," he explains. "I was just waiting for you to get your stubborn arse back here." Indicating towards the bag he adds, "Just throw what you need in there and we'll get the hell away from here for a few days. Give those geeks some time to get used to this baby news. Give us some time to get used to it."

_This baby news…holy fuck…_

He must sense my rush of apprehension in response to these words, as he turns to me, his eyes staring into mine, "You won't be doing this alone darlin', I'm here all the way."

As them damned tears well up once again he steps quickly towards me, hooking a finger under my chin to tilt my face up to his.

"Marie," his voice is so soft now it's almost a rumble, "I'm sorry."

His eyes remain locked on mine as my breathing stops…

"For what?" I whisper, not sure if I want to hear the answer.

He takes a deep breath as his thumb brushes away a lone tear that manages to escape, "For causing you these tears."

The seconds that follow stretch on before I pluck up the courage to ask the question I can't put off any longer.

"Do you want this baby Logan?" I whisper. My heartbeat rises up a notch in anticipation of his answer.

He takes a long deep breath, his eyes still on mine.

"I'm not going to lie to you Marie, this wasn't what I intended. But it's what we're faced with and I sure as hell ain't letting anyone take away what's ours."

He pulls me to him, his strong arms enclosing me in a deep hug and never before have I needed to feel his closeness like I do now. I hold onto him tightly, burying my face in his solid chest as he strokes my hair soothingly.

Eventually I look up at him through my lashes and to my surprise, despite the circumstances, he's smiling down at me.

"I think 'Papa Wolverine' suits me," he comments lightly, his eyebrow hitching ever so slightly.

I giggle into his chest, holding him close, not yet ready to break this embrace.

_We're really going to do this…_

A familiar mixture of emotions races through me again; fear, panic, apprehension; but I notice a new sentiment fluttering underneath. It's only a twinge, barely rising to the surface, but it's definitely there.

Excitement.

"We'd better go darlin'."

He's right. I quickly throw a few random items into the bag before Logan zips it up, slinging it over his shoulder. I contemplate taking a few minutes to wake Jubes, to share my news. God knows I could do with one of her reassuring hugs right now. But we'll only be gone for a few days, it can wait till we get back…

"Let's get out of here," I announce with certainty.

If I had known then that we would not be returning in a matter of days, I would have sought out Jubilee to say goodbye.

If only I'd known that those days would stretch into weeks, then into months…

But neither of us could have predicted that it would be four long years before our presence would be felt in this institute again.

And felt it was…

**************************************************************


	4. Chapter 4

We only intended to escape the institute for a few days. Just long enough for Jean and Xavier to accept my pregnancy. But lets be honest, it was more about Logan and I coming to terms with it.

We spent the first few days in a hotel; talking, making plans for the future; me throwing up as the morning sickness kicked in, sometimes crying as my hormones jumped onto an emotional roller-coaster ride. After three days I told Logan I wasn't ready to return to the school and so he organised a rented apartment for us. It was cosy and comfortable, simply perfect. As the weeks stretched on, we became somewhat settled, just the two of us, content in our own private world. I knew Logan was glad to be away from the mansion; he always felt bound by their rules and that's something he never took well to.

As the weeks turned into months, Logan started cage fighting. I didn't like it but he insisted it was a necessity to keep the money coming in. I knew there was more to it than that; I understood he needed a release, the animal inside him craving for blood.

We contemplated returning to the institute a number of times during the pregnancy, but I was always gripped with a sense of anxiety about the idea. As I came to terms with our circumstances, eventually becoming excited at the prospect of motherhood, I couldn't bear the thought of the frowns of disappointment we would receive from our peers. I didn't want anyone spoiling what we now recognised as our blessing.

Logan's protectiveness seemed to grow in parallel with my bump, almost becoming unbearable at times. "I'm not ill Logan," I'd scold him as he fussed around me. "I just want to take care of you," he would always respond.

It was a crisp autumn day when our baby was finally born; a strong healthy boy; our son. We named him Josh; Logan's choice. He took over our lives.

From the instant I held him I was gripped with a frighteningly overwhelming love for him; it was almost crippling. The need to protect him rose powerfully from within me and became my only priority, influencing every thought and decision I made thereafter.

We contemplated returning to the institute shortly after his birth, but yet again I couldn't cope with the idea of anyone looking at Josh as if he was a shameful accident. So we opted not to return. It was simpler that way, no interference, no one bursting our happy little bubble.

Happy, yes. But I can't pretend that motherhood is easy. It isn't. In fact it's the hardest task I have ever undertaken. It beats any life or death situation I've faced with the X-men. The constant worry for our son's safety and welfare is crushing at times; but the joy he has brought us is immeasurable.

So here I am, staring out of the car window as the world whizzes by in a blur, my sense of apprehension returning as we speed towards the institute.

_What the hell are we doing?_

Logan senses my tension and reaches across from the driving seat to squeeze my hand in reassurance. I offer him a weak smile in response before turning to our three-year-old son, strapped securely in the back seat, his eyes wide with excitement as he stares out through the window, taking in the world.

His dark hair is particularly 'Wolverine-style' today. I swear I try and tame it, flatten it, cut it and comb it down. Yet it always springs back to that same feral style, as if Logan's genes fight to demonstrate who this child belongs to. And there's no denying the remarkable resemblance in his hazel eyes that sparkle golden when he's being mischievous. We see that sparkle a lot.

Yes, there is no denying that outwardly he is Logan's through and through. Yet when it comes to his personality, he's a distinct mixture of the two of us. His determination, cheekiness and stubbornness come from me. His impatience and fearless sense of adventure is thanks to Logan. Josh is always grappling; always getting into trouble, so full of energy he wears me out. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

I curse the shiver of anxiety rippling through my veins as the familiar grandeur of the institute comes into view. It's as if I've stepped back in time to when I was that scared nineteen year old, so afraid of what the future might bring.

I wonder if Xavier will be expecting us? Has he sensed our arrival? Does he know how much we need him right now?

I consider how we'll be received by the other X-men. Jean, Scott, Oro…how will they react when they see us? All three of us? Surely after four long years they will accept us as a family? And what about Jubilee? Will she ever forgive me for taking off without a word? For never getting in contact?

My mind spins with the never-ending questions, which are brought on by our return. I wonder if any of the X-men were made aware that I was pregnant? Or did Jean and Xavier keep that information to themselves?

Either way, they're about to find out…

As we pull to a stop along the gravel driveway, Logan glances over his shoulder at Josh. The Wolverine has always been private with his love and affection, only letting it show on rare occasions. Except when it comes to his son. He dotes on Josh like I could never have imagined. He loves him fiercely and is incredibly proud of him. There's no doubt he's over-protective, just like he is with me, but it was always going to be that way and I can never fault Logan for that. I know we're safe in his presence.

Some nights, after Josh has gone to bed, I creep up the stairs to catch Logan leaning in the doorway of Josh's bedroom watching him sleep. He smiles as he studies his son; a real smile that reaches right to his eyes.

I love seeing the two of them together, Josh looking up at his father in awe, following him wherever he goes and copying his every move. And when they play fight, I've never seen anything so cute. Logan even lets Josh win…sometimes…

Of course our son has never seen Logan's claws and never witnessed the power of my skin. But when he's older, we'll share the facts of our mutations. When he's old enough to understand…

I snap back to reality, that being us parked outside the institute, both Logan and I wrapped in our own thoughts as we mentally prepare ourselves. I step out of the car, trying to shake my apprehension and I'm sure I see Logan doing the same as I open the back door to help Josh out of his seat.

"This is where I met your dad," I inform him, pointing to the school.

Okay, so that's not strictly true, but I'm hardly going to tell a three-year-old that we met in a dingy run-down bar in Laughlin City whilst I was hitch-hiking at the tender age of sixteen. It's not exactly Romeo and Juliet…

"No you didn't," Josh comments with certainty, "Dad was fighting in a cage when you met."

And that's the other thing about our son; he has something…a gift…a skill. Hell, let's tell it like it is; he's a mutant. A powerful mutant. And that's precisely why we're here. We need Xavier's help to understand Josh's mutation and to grasp why it has manifested itself so early in his life. As far as I'm aware, that's unheard of. And a three-year-old mutant, one who has the Wolverine's genes running through him, can be dangerous.

It's mid-afternoon and a few students are milling about the front of the school. We receive a couple of curious glances and I'm grateful it's no one I recognise. Josh clambers out of the car, immediately bounding straight past me, racing off in a random direction. Honestly, you have to have eyes in the back of your head with our son.

Logan powers after him, sweeping him up and lifting him high above his head, sitting him on his shoulders as Josh squeals with delight. His little legs dangling down past Logan's shoulders as he grins across to me, "Look how high I am mummy!"

Logan's strides back towards me, a determined look in his eyes.

"You okay darlin'? You ready for them?" he indicates with a nod towards the school.

I take a deep breath and we exchange a private look of 'let's do this' before slowly making our way towards the entrance of the mansion.

_Yes, I'm ready for them. The question is, are they ready for us…?_


	5. Chapter 5

I look to our son who sits high and proud on Logan's shoulders, grinning with happiness. How could he be considered anything other than a blessing? My heart swells with love, allowing me to forget my apprehension for a moment… although the uneasiness swiftly returns as Logan swings open the door and the familiar smell hits me; a scent of deep wood wrapped with hints of polish. That memorable buzz still hangs in the air, created by the excitement of the students. My heart tightens as I realize nothing has changed.

_Does that include their opinion of us?_

Logan catches my eye and gives me a soft blink; the slightest of gestures. And I know that look. It reads _I'm right here darlin'._

I take a deep breath, stepping through the entrance into the hallway and we immediately hear a familiar voice, "Welcome back."

My eyes meet Xavier's as he heads towards us, closely followed by Scott. There's no look of surprise; they're clearly expecting us.

"It's good to see you again," Xavier offers kindly as he glides up to us, coming to a standstill just feet away.

"Miss us?" Logan asks lightly, a smile hitching as he looks to Scott.

"As a matter of fact, we did," Xavier answers, and I see the honesty in his eyes.

_Maybe things have changed after all…_

"Where's your hair?" Josh demands, peering down at Xavier.

Trust my son to introduce himself in the cheeky way that only he could get away with. But at least is breaks the ice; we can't help but smile…

"This is Josh," says Logan with a grin, lifting him off his shoulders and placing him lightly onto his feet in front of us, "Our son," he adds proudly.

Josh takes a confident step towards the two strangers, glancing at each of them curiously. Xavier smiles at him warmly as Scott crouches down to meet him at eye level, "Hello little man."

Josh tilts his head to one side and I know, even without being able to see his face, that there's a frown burrowing on his forehead as he contemplates Scott. He looks most like Logan when he pulls that expression. Even I find the resemblance uncanny.

"Why are you wearing red glasses?" Josh asks him. Scott considers the question, but before he can answer, Josh adds, "Is red your favourite colour?"

Scott smiles at him, "Yeah, actually it is."

"I don't like red," Josh announces with certainty.

_Funny that…_

I don't miss the twinkle in Scott's eye as he ruffles Josh's wild hair before standing up straight, smiling towards us.

"He's adorable," comments Xavier, his words meaning so much to me, coming from the man who I once looked to as a father figure. I notice Logan's chest swell in pride.

All eyes are on Josh as the front door is thrown open behind us and I glance around to see Pyro strolling in, his eyes widening in astonishment at the sight of us.

"Hi John," I smile.

"Hey," he responds, a little too casually, as if to hide his surprise, "It's been a while."

He doesn't look any different apart from his hair being a little lighter. It's as if time has stood still within the walls of this institute.

Josh peeps around Logan's legs, moving into Pyro's line of sight, grinning broadly and causing John to stop in his tracks. He stares from me to Logan then back to Josh. I guess Xavier was selective on who he told about the pregnancy…

"Damn, there's no denying who your daddy is," he says to Josh, before turning to us and adding, "So the Wolverine and the Rogue finally got down and dirty huh?"

"How old are you again?" Logan throws to him in annoyance.

Josh hasn't taken his eyes off Pyro and as he steps closer to him he tugs on John's jacket toggle to get his attention, piping up, "Are you going to join the Brotherhood?"

_What?_

Everyone stares at Josh in astonishment, including Logan and me. We should be used to his random inexplicable comments by now, but seriously…did our son just say that?

"You're teaching a three-year-old about the brotherhood?" Scott asks incredulously, looking from me to Logan.

"No! It's not like that…" I start.

How do I even begin to explain our son's mutancy when we don't understand it ourselves? Josh has never even heard the term 'brotherhood' before. And why would he associate it with John? Yet he has come to prove that his random comments have meaning, signifying something much deeper than any three-year-old could understand.

Pyro is staring wide-eyed at Josh, "That's one scary kid," he mutters, a clear note of nervousness in his voice.

"Give him a few more years and he'll damn well petrify you," growls Logan, fiercely defensive of his son.

"Let's take this somewhere more private," Xavier suggests, turning away and heading down the corridor.

"Good idea," fumes Logan, throwing a warning look to Pyro before we turn to follow Xavier. Josh darts off ahead then runs back, his energy levels never dropping as he whizzes around us in circles.

"Why does your chair have wheels?" he asks Xavier, hopping from side to side in front of him.

"These wheels are my legs," Xavier smiles.

Josh considers this answer with another frown before asking, "Is Erik your friend?"

Xavier stops, staring at Josh in stunned silence.

Logan and I exchange a glance filled with silent words; _How does he know? Where does his information come from?_

"Is he?" Josh presses Xavier for an answer.

"He was a true friend," he says carefully in response.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who notices the use of his past tense…

We enter Xavier's office and the memories flood back; comforting and soothing in some respects, yet agonizingly raw as our parting conversation echoes around the room. Josh bounds in seconds behind us, racing around the immaculately polished furniture.

"Be careful sweetheart," I warn as we take a seat, Xavier wheeling himself around his desk to face us. Josh darts to Logan, jumping onto his lap and clambering over him; his own personal leather and jean-clad climbing frame.

Xavier takes a deep breath; "I want to apologise for the night you left," he says solemnly, "I was wrong to involve myself in your business and I never wanted either of you to leave."

Silence settles before he adds, "For what it's worth, I've kept a protective eye on you all through Cerebro over the last four years."

"That means a lot Professor," I say. Logan nods in acknowledgment; never one for unnecessary words.

"So…I'll make an assumption that you're here about Josh?" Xavier asks.

"We need your help," I blurt out, a note of desperation coming through. "Our son has a gift…a knowledge..." I stop, struggling to find the right words.

"Yes, I've noticed," comments Xavier quietly.

"Only yesterday," I continue hastily, "he asked if Cody was still in a coma. I've never mentioned Cody's name to Josh, not once, and he wouldn't even know what a coma was!" My voice raises a pitch as my concerns spill out, my words speeding up as I try to communicate my worries. "Sometimes he doesn't make any sense…like the Brotherhood comment to Pyro."

Xavier responds, but his words are muttered, as if he's thinking aloud, "If I were to put him in a mutant category, he would be a telepath. But it seems there's so much more to his power than that. It's as if he taps into the unconscious thought…even seeing events that are yet to happen…" He stops there, his thoughts now silent.

"Xavier," Logan says, still jostling with Josh, "Aren't mutations supposed to emerge later in life, during the teenage years?"

"Yes," confirms Xavier, "In fact the only cases I have ever heard of where mutations manifest so young is in the case of grade five mutants…the most powerful."

Logan and I look to Josh who continues to clamber over his father, oblivious to the meaning of Xavier's words.

"I have only ever come across two grade five mutants before today," adds Xavier. "Josh makes three."

"I'm three years old," Josh informs us helpfully, counting the numbers out on his fingers as he holds his digits up to Xavier, "One, two, three!"

"And if your son is grade five," continues Xavier, smiling at Josh but directing his words to us, "Then I expect more powers will manifest over time."

A pang of nerves shoots through me, "I just want him to have a normal life. Not be blighted by a mutation like I was for so many years." I can't stop my eyes welling with tears.

"He will have a normal life darlin', we'll make sure of it," Logan reaches across to squeeze my hand.

"I may be able to help him," says Xavier, "Train him how to hone and control his powers just like I did for you Rogue. Teaching him from such a young age is an advantage; in theory he'll be much more susceptible to guidance."

Josh jumps down onto the smooth floor before spinning round to look back at Logan, "Daddy, why are you so angry with your brother?"

_What the hell…? _

Logan looks at his son in shock, "Josh," he says, taking hold of his small shoulders gently so he has his son's full attention, "What brother?"

Josh looks to his father with puzzlement as that frown appears again, "Don't you know daddy? Uncle Victor..."

Logan continues to stare at Josh in shock and I know this revelation will unsettle him deeply. I can hardly comprehend how stunned the Wolverine will be to learn of a sibling. A pang of disbelief rushes through me as I realise that our son may have the answers to Logan's forgotten past.

Xavier looks at us with deep seriousness in his eyes, "Josh needs guidance to ensure his powers do not spiral out of control."

Silence settles as Xavier's words sink in; both of us are too taken aback to respond.

"It will take time," Xavier continues, "And if you want me to do this, I would require regular one-on-one sessions with Josh. I would suggest you stay here, become residents of the school again."

Logan and I exchange a look. Can we really return to our old lives here? Yet despite our reservations, we both know that when it comes to our son, there really is no option.

"Whatever's best for Josh," says Logan decisively. I nod in agreement as our son grapples on, oblivious to the fact that he has single-handedly changed the course of our lives once again.

************************************

So we returned, our boisterous son in tow, causing commotion wherever he went, encouraged by Logan, much to the other X-men's exasperation. But they couldn't help but fall in love with him, the youngest resident of the institute, and without doubt the cutest.

As for Jubes, of course she forgave me; she's my best friend after all. She dotes on Josh as much as I do and I have to admit, Jubilee is the highlight of our return for me. We've got a lot of catching up to do and I've missed her.

Xavier begins to make progress with Josh as we become an integral part of the X-team again. And I know, despite the rules and regulations, that Logan is glad to be back amongst the action, although he would never admit that to anyone else.

As for Jean, she looks at Josh with kindness in her eyes, although for the most part she keeps her distance. I think she feels guilty about her past conduct. I even suspect she may be jealous. Either way, I have more pressing issues to deal with right now…

It's like déjà vu as once again I sit alone, staring down at the bright pink strip. It seems to be flashing up to me like a neon sign, glowing and throbbing. My heart races and the room starts spinning; however this time, it's with excitement. I smile to myself as I consider a sibling for Josh; another addition to our quirky yet happy family.

Logan has made no secret of the fact he wants another boy. As for me, I think I'd quite like a girl. You see, I've decided I kinda' like the colour pink after all…

**THE END**

*************************************************

I could have continued this story, taking it in so many different directions, but I only ever intended for it to be a short Rogan. I have thoroughly enjoyed writing every word; loved experimenting with how my favourite pair would deal with an unexpected pregnancy and I have simply adored creating my very own lively, cheeky, three-year-old little 'Rogan' (aka Josh)!

And now I'm going to crack open a cold bottle of beer (in true Wolverine style – haha!) but before I do, I wanted to thank everyone who has added this to their alerts / favourite story etc, and especially to those who took the time to review. I am a novice and therefore extremely grateful for the comments / feedback I've received throughout this posting. It's really encouraging and it keeps me writing.

Huge thanks to moviemom44 (great advice and support, as ever), Wolverette (I await with baited breath - you know what I mean!), cherish15, alexmonalisa (my apologies for forcing you to log in, I know you hate that! *grin*), writer 23, midnight blue08, TristeAlma, Dots and everyone else who reviewed – thank you so much!

Now for that beer…yay and cheers!


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